A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.
In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions". "Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases.
In his 20s, his Willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After is 50s, it is like a Christmas tree". "A Christmas tree?" "Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."
Well, it's New Years Eve and I have just finished FOLDING CLOTHES! Wahoooooo...oh the excitement. It's so hard to contain myself. I have another warm load in the dryer. I mean it doesn't get any better than this....
"Sad but True" as James Hetfield would say. I spent the day cooking and throwing some shit away. I need to do soooooooo much more! I cooked a meatloaf, a hashbrown casserole, peas, and black eyes peas. I have food for a week. Knowing that I go back to school day after tomorrow, I wanted to have some dinners to nibble on. My Saints played their second string guys and we LOST.
I did treat myself to a mani and pedi last this eve...I mean what the hell else did I have planned???!!!! I thought G might call and wanna do something. NOPE
T invited me to Buffalo's with him and a bud...A invited me over to her parents place...I wanted to be all warm and snuggly with a guy tonight. It's rainy here and VERY HUMID....ICK
GUess I am gonna have to settle for DESTINY my only male kitty....He's my heart and soul anyway...he never lets me down.
For some reason Blogger will not let me post any pics my last 2 posts..GRRRRRR
Happy FUCKIN New Year.
7 comments:
Happy New Year to you:0)
Happy New Year Rebecca.
Love the Joke.
Hi there Rebecca..ty for dropping by my blog...quick hey..I was watching you type your message..rofl.. nah just joking...
Now you ask how I motivate myself...
I look in the mirror..and I dont like what I see... I want to be attractive to others... I want to be healthier..I got to a point in my life where I didnt like myself at all.. and I was sick with an undiagnosed gluten intollerance.. so I was mentally and physically unwell.. it caused depression and huge weightgain..so when I finally worked out it what the food I was eating and cut all gluten out I became a different person... I managed to keep gaining weight at the time of diagnoses as i bought all gluten free goodies and ate them and loved not feeling sick.. so oneday i realised what i was doing to myself... and basically ripped on the handbrake and started to make changes...
I am not strict in my diet...I still endulge in my fav drink on fri and sat nights...Scotch... I have corn chippies and dip with that...
oops... I have just typed up a full story on my life.. well if you want to know anymore... just flip back thru my blog... might bore you to tears.. bedtime reading..you will nod off.. but I write about all sorts of things..i have a support group I go to every thursday night to weigh in and that has kept me on the straight an narrow also...
anyway ty for dropping by...
Hope to see you again soon..
will go and peruse your blog for a bit now... ;o)oh and while I am filling up your comments page.. have an awesome start to your New Year!!!
Happy new year to you too!
Who needs a man anyway!
At least you started the new year with a clean house! lol
men are SOOOOOO over-rated.
hubby and son #1 lit off New Years fireworks until I was ready to wring BOTH of their necks.
Anyhow, Happy New Year!
Happy New Year! Here's to a better year!
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