Sunday, November 26, 2006

Scared Damn it !

Well, I stayed in all day. I didn't even unpack my suitcase. I just fed kitties, threw away junk mail, read the paper, caught up on reading my emails....
Iwatched a little tv. I cried and cried like every two hours. I feel so helpless. I mean, I want to just hold my mom and make all of her fears and worries just disappear. I'm scared, but don't want to add to her dilemma. I did more research on line today about a few of the doctors that she has seen in the last two weeks. I also looked up the doc she is meeting with this week. He's a general surgeon and that makes me nervous. I want the VERY BEST MOST EXPERIENCED guy or gal for the job. I researched cancer centers of America and MD Anderson Cancer center in Houston. One of the docs in New Orleans had a lawsuit about 6 yrs ago. He performed Gall bladder surgery and she wasn't satisfied with her results. It was 15 pages worth of legal jargon...he was found to have completed his job without any type of negligence. It just makes you suspicious.
I sent my dad about 10 links and called mom with info I found. She is not what you call computer literate...so I have to hope he'll open and print stuff for her. Again, he is NOT a warm and fuzzy kinda guy. That makes me sad for her. I mean Hell I'm not the one this is happening directly too, but what I would give for a man to just hold me right now.

I am so scared.

3 comments:

Mick & Cathy said...

What you are feeling is what any normal person would in the same situation. All you can do is be strong for your mum she will appreciate that.
I hope everthing works out ok for your mum and yourself.

BarnGoddess_01 said...

you are a loving daughter, what your feeling is normal.

Dont get to worked up over the lawsuit on the MD. Just one is no biggie, if the guy had 3 or more, then Id worry. I know, you want the best, your mother deserves the BEST.

Im here for ya, if ya ever need an ear or to vent :)

did you see the kitty pic I posted today?

Rachel said...

Keep your chin up, girl. I wish you guys could come to Birmingham and have UAB take care of this for you, one of the best cancer programs in the USA. But wherever your mom is, I know she will get the best of care. And we will all be here for you and praying for you and your mom.

I agree, don't get too worked up over the lawsuit. One time this guy brought one against a transplant surgeon I worked for. It was totally bogus - the guy just wanted some cash. And he didn't get it any, either. The judge threw the case out it was so unfounded.

But if you have that case info you can email to me, I'll get my present boss (the attorney) to look it over. He's licensed in Louisiana too so if he recognizes that doc's name, I'll let you know.