TGIF

It's Friday and the last day with my kids...I had some really sweet kids this year and will miss them. It was nice the last few days because any of the behavior problems were escorted out of the building earlier this week. So the classes I did have were with cool kids!!! I took a few pictures and we shared lots if hugs! Teaching really can be rewarding....

On to matters of the heart...One of my ex's called yesterday afternoon and happened to get my voicemail on my cell and left a message. He was crying. I was shocked! He and I dated off and on for several years. I can say I have loved three times in my life. Once, was my first love and he has a permanent hold on my heart and will even when I leave this earth, We'll call him "J". Second, is this guy we'll call "K". He and I have so many shared interests...music, art, friends, a flair for life but with expensive tastes, we both have good family relations and share the same political views. We just connect on a certain level..but we also each have a short fuse when dealing with each other.....and he had a real problem with commitment. He knows it and thinks he gets it from his father. (I agree)~ Well (like you all need this background), He's a sensual guy and kinda kinky, but for him to leave such a distraught message I was afraid one of his parents or brothers died. I called him a few hours later when I got the message. He was rehashing our relationship, he said "the mistakes and choices he made, and his fear of commitment". He's been dating a girl named "T" and she wanted some type of commitment and he's having a tough time. Well, she lives a few hours away from him for school. He's worried that something violent may have happened to her because she is pulling away from him and acting quite shocked and withdrawn/secluded and doesn't want to talk about what is going on...but not in a bad sense. He approached her mom and still got that something is wrong vibe.. He says he feels kinda strange talking to me about her...I told him it was OK. I knew he needed a friend and we have such a history. He knows the love of my life "J". Lord knows I have talked to him about "J" and he's witnessed our difficulties in person and on the rebound. He and I started dating the first time "J" and I broke up...We always seemed to be drawn back to each other. He has been in my circle of friends for 14 years. Well, I listened and offered my thoughts....He offered apologies to me about "us" and when we hung up it was an "I love you Rebecca"...which was really nice to hear and left me to ponder a tad bit. Am I nuts? He made it clear that we should hang out when I drive home this summer. We're cool in the sense we can go to art galleries, brunch and then a concert...

Why doesn't my love life ever want to work OUT? I mean damn what am I doing wrong?????