Yes, this is how I am feeling. I got just a few things accomplished!! Yeah Me!!!

I managed to find and buy all the right bulbs...vanity, garage, outside flood lights....Wahoooo. I carried an managed to change w/o falling and busting my butt the flood lights on the side of my house---they are above my fence and on a sloping hill. Trust me this was a FEAT!

I went and bought a new bath fat to match the expensive Croscill shower curtain I hung up. I also found Fleur De Lis hand towels on sale at Bed Bath and Beyond/ I did dishes, laundry and changed my sheets. I went shopping and found the perfect not to big not to small basket to put next to my lazy Boy for mail, I'm not quite ready to throw away yet.

Friday after work, I spent 2 hours at one of my students houses. I was waiting on mom and then had a 90 minute convo with mom. Then I met Laurel (my new girlfriend-from Dillards) at a local mexican place, we had SEVERAL drinks and ventured off to the "fun" store here... = P

Sat, I slept til noon (yeah). I eventually made it out to get kitty food and had dinner with T. He took me to a new catfish place. We were not impressed. After dinner, I came home and Greg came over. We watched a movie. He got in the hot tub. It was just TOO hot for me...It's 80 something here. I have my AC running full blast. I HATE to be hot.

Sun I managed to get out an go to the new T J Maxx, Bed Bath and Beyond, Lowes and Red Lobster for lunch. I had coconut shrimp and those INCREDIBLE cheese biscuits. Can I say YUM?

Ok....Let me go cook something for the week...and try to straighten up my living room...and attempt to find my W-2 YIKES. I need a manicure...but I drove by the place I like and women were waiting....I came home and carried my TALL ladder all around.

I AM WOMAN HERE ME ROAR!

Well....everybody liked Alex, other wise known as *A*. Of course he is the one that is totally unavailable.

Pic 1 is John in Savannah, the one I am excited about ....He has the Chemistry degree and has lots of good qualities...but we haven't mey face to face yet. = (

Pic 2 is *A* my regular readers know my moments with him.

Pic 3 is Greg. We dated and he's all mixed up inside after the divorce. I told him during our talk last night how cocky he was/is. I know it's all an act, he is a teddy bear inside. He apologized and really shared his feelings~ He wants us to start dating again with a blank slate. HE really told me tons of feelings last night. I was hmmmm, well, I was surprised to see such a genuine apology.

Most of you thought John would be a nice guy. I get that feeling too.
Alex is just Yummy...again that is NOT a good pic.
Greg, several comments thought he'd be a cocky ass. Funny, cause he can be......

OK. I'm up. I'm not energetic, but I'm up. I'm at school. and relishing the silence I have right this minute...planning supposedly. I need to go make copies but...I can wait a second more. I just popped in a Jackson Browne CD... "The Load out" and 'Stay" ..I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!

A came over last night. We have such a *fun* connection. I am better for it today.....
I went by and had two keys made (After locking myself out of the house yesterday and the Hardware store where Greg works~ We spoke briefly. He apologize about how things have been for the last 6 weeks. He's dealing with custody issues of his daughter and her surpervised visits for her mom. Mom was an addict (from what he's said)...He said when he starts to get close to someone and it feel ok, he shys away....and he wants to try to explain things over a dinner convo...I said we'll see. I'm just not sure I wanna get involved again. On the other hand, if he's telling me the truth...maybe I should have dinner?

I have a hair appointment after work today that didn't work out Sat...so I'll be broke again, although I get paid today (Amen)... I have to find a low interest credit card again. Mine with Cap One has decided to move from 4% to 10% on me in April. I don't always carry a balance, but after putting floors in paying my homeowners association 250- house insurance 450- and my recent trip home, I owe 2000. Anybody got a low interest rate they wanna suggest? I don't wanna do a simple balance transfer for 0% and then in 6 months go to 19%.

Go down and read my FUNNIES~ then you can comment...that is if I have any traffic today = ]

Abandoned and lack luster

Well, I had an eventful weekend. (NOT)

Friday night I went out to a local steak house with T. It was good! I had some grilled veggies that were just YUMMY! Then we went to the mall to look for HIGH thread count sateen sheets that did not cost 140 bucks. I found at West Point Stevens a top sheet 600 thread count AMAZING. Unfortunately, no bottom sheet to match *sigh*. I finally found a match to it at BEd Bath & Beyond...but they wanted 39 for it. Well, I found some 800 thread count at West Point----they wanted 99, in an Ecru color. I can't get them out of my mind , I may go back for them after work today.

Sat, I was supposed to have a hair appointment. I get there wait 15 minutes, Rodneys daughter who gives INCREDIBLE head massages as she washes your hair--(I'd go back just for those hands on my scalp) He called in with a migraine. They called but I wasn't home....2 hrs before the appt. MEOW I rescheduled for Wed after work.

Sat afternoon, I ran a few errands then went home and took a nap. For me to nap , I am TIRED! I woke up to go look at DVRs with T. A was planning to come over later....I ran out of the house with my purse and the garbage....into my garage mind you--LOCKING MYSELF out of my house in the process. My car keys and my other keys were in there. T came and rescued me and drove me to my aunts house to get a spare key..... Thank god I had not wandered out in the garage in my undies like I normally do for garbage take out.

I called A and the eve was shot as far as I was concerned. Oh well.

Last night, 9:30 my doorbell rings. I freak. I am in the process of combing knots out of my hair with a tea tree oil (green mask) on my face. I peaked and peaked---but none of my outseide lights were on, so I couldn't see til they drove off . It was Greg. Hello we have had one convo on line in 6 weeks and he wants to show up at my house unannounced at 9 p.m. He emailed and said he really wanted to see me and could we talk. I have decided what I am going to do yet.
Any thoughts?????

Fresh air~

This is my uncles land in Bama. I am SOOOOOO bummed he's selling. Ya'll I really have a desire for a few acres of land. I feel like it's in my blood. However, I HATE yard work...(I don't mind mowing)..but hate pulling weeds. SO how much sense am I making? I need a good ole' boy to tend to the land and I'll tend to the house..perhaps a log cabin. I can't tell you the fondness I feel when I drive into his place and just breath in the fresh air. It is so soothing. Okay, it's almost as good of a stress reliever to me as a good massage...Anybody with me???

The only good news this weekend was the Saints were off cause the clinched their division.

I talked to G last night. I don't think we'll go anywhere. He's got several unresolved issues, and I don't think I am the gal to "FIX" him. I swear men as such a pain in the ass!!!!

My aunt's funeral is in Fla this Wed. My uncle selling the land is driving here to get my aunt and they'll be driving there together. It's a good 10 hr drive. My peace is with knowing she is not in anymore pain.

Jan 1 2007

See how N'awlins reindeer are dressed BG!!!

This is the Christmas Tree that Linda and I enjoyed while in the Quarter...I have lots of pics to post...several that are for BG exclusively!!1 Girly I thought of YOU as I took them. I know you now feel completely LOVED and adored!

Today, again I went shopping--Pier 1, Bed Bath and Beyond (I found 2 silk pillows for my new bedspread for 20 bucks--Yippee! ), Bath and Body, (I have fallen in love with a sparkle roll on scented Strawberries and Creme...they were 3 bucks each, so I went all out. They also have my Wallflowers- plug ins for 5 bucks...So I grabbed a few of the as well. YEP I AM TOTALLY BROKE~ but damn it I smell some kinda good.

SEE D and BG I had many a drink for your guys....This was a few hours into the evening~ Ok i'm pretty pissed off with G. He's totally blown me off the last 4 days. HE said he'd call...and didn't. So I called him. (I"M AN IDIOT) He said his daughter was sick again. I'm not sure if I believe him. He said how he's had 3 days off and doesn't wanna go back to work. He asked how I was --said I sounded "Down". I said I was fine. I wanted to jump his shit...but why. I mean we have no commitment, not sure I can see a future with him....wondering why I am feeling so controlling...or wanting to control his time. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME???

NYE 2007

Onions and Christmas trees
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.
In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions". "Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases.
In his 20s, his Willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After is 50s, it is like a Christmas tree". "A Christmas tree?" "Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."


Well, it's New Years Eve and I have just finished FOLDING CLOTHES! Wahoooooo...oh the excitement. It's so hard to contain myself. I have another warm load in the dryer. I mean it doesn't get any better than this....

"Sad but True" as James Hetfield would say. I spent the day cooking and throwing some shit away. I need to do soooooooo much more! I cooked a meatloaf, a hashbrown casserole, peas, and black eyes peas. I have food for a week. Knowing that I go back to school day after tomorrow, I wanted to have some dinners to nibble on. My Saints played their second string guys and we LOST.

I did treat myself to a mani and pedi last this eve...I mean what the hell else did I have planned???!!!! I thought G might call and wanna do something. NOPE
T invited me to Buffalo's with him and a bud...A invited me over to her parents place...I wanted to be all warm and snuggly with a guy tonight. It's rainy here and VERY HUMID....ICK

GUess I am gonna have to settle for DESTINY my only male kitty....He's my heart and soul anyway...he never lets me down.

For some reason Blogger will not let me post any pics my last 2 posts..GRRRRRR
Happy FUCKIN New Year.

N' Da Playoffs

Morning~ I am just getting home from dinner and drinks with T and A. He took us out. I had a shot and a couple of cosmo's. I am not feeling any pain.
I am however, looking forward to tomorrow when I get to SEE my Saints in action their last game of the season. My guys made it to the play offs....( I AM SOOOOO PROUD)!!!!! I really hope they win tomorrow afternoon... Wish them luck!

Well, I had my friend with benefits over last night. It had been almost 6 months, and I was losing my mind. He's so sweet. It was an enjoyable evening for all.

The G man hasn't benn calling~ he knew I was in N.O. buts still he should have called. He's got alot of pent up hostility. I have figured out if it's towards life, work or even the ex. I guess it's more macho if a guy shows anger and a gal shows sadness?????

I am glad Saddam was hung and that the U.S. were not the ones to do it!

No New Yrs plans for me except the game~ all the bars are closed here~ they open at midnight. T bought me a bottle of champagne...not that I need it. But I guess he figures just in case....he's really depriving a lucky gal out of a relationship. He is either scared of commitment...or has intimacy issues. He has the best heart!

Checkin in

Morning~ I thought puppy here was cute...and I just wanted to check in on my readers...see if you feel and smell ok today....

Well, AMEN it is my last day and 2 wks off . I am truly wiped out! I need some down time...some me time*** I have decided I am not going home until Monday. I need to have a day off and just rest in my own home, do laundry, go thru mail, love on my kitties and SLEEP!

I spoke to mom last nigt she was totally ok with it. After all my dad is off Sat/Sun and works all of next week. So I'll be there with her next week if she needs me for anything. Her next Chemo treatment is Dec 27.

Greg called last night, I didn't answer. He said he wanted to wish me a safe trip home today. He asked that I call him when I get on the road. Well, I'm not sure if I will or not. I have made up my mind 2 if not 3 of those shirts are going back. I was feeling generous and in the Christmas spirit when I bought them. I know finances are not his strong suit right now. I also thought I could help build up the wardrobe some... I mean the ex-wife is supposed to be paying him child support and is NOT consistant with it. Anyway...do you all agree several or ALL of them should go back to the store.????

I did just find out James Gandolfini is the head of Bacchus this year. (I love the Soprano's) Bacchus is the HUGE Sunday night parade before Mardi gras. There are 4 parades definately worth seeing in Nawlins....Endymion (sat night), Bacchus (sun night), Orpheous (mon night--it's Harry Connick Jr.'s parade) and REX which rolls at 10 a.m. om Mardi Gras day down Canal Street. The weekend b/f is sometimes better than the actually day cause you get the locals not the tourists.

Have a nice weekned...so many don't post over Sat n Sun...BOOO HOOOO !

struggles

Alrighty, again you can post a comment anonymously. However, I like the BEta Blogger better. It has more features and allows me to post more rapidly...at least pictures are added faster..And I am actually writing this on my planning this morning~~~

Well, I managed to get a flu shot yesterday after work. My insurance pays for it. My arm is paying for it this morning. All of my children decided to squeeze my left arm as they hugged me this morning. UGHHHHHHHHH...can i say OUCH!
After all I am such a baby when it comes to needles....

I am kinda disappointed with the G man. I called him at work Tues wanting to know if he had plans right after work, cause I had to be at school for the PTA meeting and had about 30 minutes to kill from when he gets off of work. He told me "No" don't come by the store. He had to meet with the store owner at another location. Well he was kinda rude on the phone, at least I felt put off. After all I had just spent an hour at JcPenny shopping for him for clothes. Well, I found 4 items and couldn't decide which one, so I got all 4. I spent 75 bucks. YES I AM A NUT! (not trying to get one or two) Just acting like a damn NUT > = ( ~
I figured that he would end up liking 2 of them..one is a fleece zip up basic black...the other was a pull over super soft cotton. I know I am safe with those two, but i wanted to add a bit of color. So I grabbed a green mock turtle neck (he'll wear a turtle neck--but not a button down--and women are picky???) the other is a blue--(to match those crystal blue eyes) pull over with 3 buttons on top.....I did pretty well for 75 bucks.
Anyway...he didn't call after we spoke Tues....he didn't call or email last night...So what are your thoughts???

I am not sure if I see a future with/in him. He has a few qualities I really like....he LOVES his family...LOVES his daughter...and seems stable in his job. He loves music we definitely share that common interest. I think he'd be loyal in a relationship.
He is definitely a warm a fuzzy kind of guy. =)
On the flip side...I wish he had finished college...wish he wasn't a smoker....I am more materialistic than he is and that may cause financial "arguements" down the road.....He calls himself a "NON CONFORMIST"...and with his clothing don't we discussed this weekend...hmmmmmm. He's not a fan of organized religion. He's Christian but not a church goer, although he was brought up in one and is Glad his daughter is involved with a church group...his parents take her.

Confused...I may bitch later today about another topic....but let me make test copies......

i'm back~

Well, it's Monday and as well all know Mondays SUCK. We have extra meetings at work and they call for extra time and PUNISHMENT for all of us.

I did however manage to bring my school gifts up here for my co-workers, secretaires and Principal and Asst principal. They all got N'awlins goodies....cocktail, remouolade, or seafood sauce in a jar. Assorted coffees (Bannana's Foster, Pralines and Creme, Mardi Gras blend), I found the cutest soaps shaped in crawfish, crabs, shrimp), Mardi Gras dip ( served it at a LAnguage Arts last year and it was a hit) and various seafood mixes (gumbo, red beans and rice, BBQ shrimp, Shrimp creole) and Louisiana seasonings to use in place of salt and pepper.... and some awesome caramel popcorn with chocolate drizzles. (Bayoucountry.com) I also got a few pralines (pronounced praw leans)....

Sat I had lunch with Tommy and Jeff at the Market...I had Gumbo and boiled shrimp....Yummy.
After lunch my aunt took me to Ft. Benning. = ) I went to get Lancome lipstick and lip liner...I left with a Sarah Jessica Parker perfume set....My lipstick and liner....Estee Lauder Magnascopic mascara...Elizabeth Arden makeup gift set....a hat for my mom she may want after loosing her hair.....Estee Lauder moisturizer gift set....Prada perfume/Lotion gift set and Vera Wang perfume gift set. I spent well over 400 bucks. I needed the makeup...and wanted the perfume....Oh yes, I also got Victoria Secret Pear glace body scrub and Yankee Candle tea lights in Cranberry Manderin. I spent my January pay check. It's just not a regular thing for her to take me...so I always feel like I need to stock up!

Sat afternoon Greg called and wanted to know if we could do something that evening after his daughter dance recital. The only thing I had planned was getting Christmas gifts together for friends and co-workers. He offerd to help, so I said Yes. He called and wanted to pick me up dinner somewhere, but I wasn't hungry. It was sweet though. I had a tough time getting my fire place going...he volunteered his "red neck services" to start the fire. He says...I'll be right back~ I need to go get the gasoline out of my car. My dumb ass believed him and said "thats not necessary". He busted out laughing. I felt like an idiot....He helped me bag stuff and tie ribbons and on gifts. I told him about mom and he was VERY Supportive. I was pleased. He also knew that I'd be gone for awhile so he wanted us to spend some time together. We just cuddled up on the couch with the fire and talked for a few hours. He's a sweet guy. He shaved off that long go-tee (yeah)...I like a go-tee...but not the ZZ top look...his wasn't that bad but you get the idea.....
He spent the night.....we slept all curled up together. He is definately a warm and fuzzy when it comes to affection. I was lucky he was there actually. My ADT alarm went off at 5:00a.m. It scared the hell out of me. I jumped up, he did too...He went outside and checked all around my house while ADT called me. I grabbed my gun. I felt alot safer that he was there. It has never gone off in the almost 3 yrs I have been in that house. We think it was the whipping wind that caused a sensor to go off.....But i couldn't go back to sleep....he stayed all morning, we just goofed off. We watched my church on TV that morning. We met 2 of my friends at a mexican place for lunch~ It was my idea so I paid. He met Tommy and Angel. He was SOOOO quiet. Kinda nervous like~ I haven't talked to him since lunch yesterday.

I think I am gonna go shop for a pull over or a sweater for him. He needs clothes! He is a total non conformist...He doesn't like button downs or V necks. He will wear a turtle neck or tshirts....So I am gonna check out a few places afterwork..... Am I out of my mind???? OR do I seem too pushy??? I am just REALLY comfy with him....it's cool..He did make progress...he switched from Marlboro reds to Marlboro lights...and he bought some listerine strips to pop in his mouth before he even thought about kissing me....

I'll huff and I'll puff

Thought for Today:

"The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts."

-- Marcus Antoninus

G called but I was in a funk I didn't answer the phone. I was supposed to go to a faculty party tonight, but just didn't feel SOCIAL. I have too much on my mind. I'm totally selfish right? After all it was at Hannah's mom's house~ http://www.teatopia.net~ I just feel like I am trying too fucking hard to put on a smiling face, when I don't feel a bit like smiling.

I am feeling kinda numb...Mom called and no results on the heart test yet. They have her scheduled for surgery to insert a port tomorrow morning at 7. She will be at the hospital all day. My dad is taking off (THANK GOD). Mom is pretty upset that a doc didn't call her with results to proceed in the a.m. So she is just going to show up.

Does anyone have a facial moisturizer they really like??? I have been TURNED on to Oil of Olay with SHea Butter for dry skin..OMG it is the bomb! It is so soft~ I am in love. However for somereason this season my face is becoming dry in the T-zone and usually I am OILY.....I manage to get Vitamin E soap from the "BODY SHOP" when I am in Louisiana. I tried some moisturizers, but I haven't found "the One".

One more question~ Where does everyone go over the weekends? It's so rare for people to post or to comment?????

Can you guess which dwarf I feel like today?

Well, yesterday was pretty CRAPPY.

I was worried about mom's visit with the Oncologist yesterday afternoon. I had the school Choral concert to attend and frankly wasn't up to being a social butterfly.

Mom's news: she is having a heart test Thursday to see if her heart can withstand the HEAVY dose of Chemo they want to give her next week. The doc she saw siad she has a very fast moving cancer and it needs to be treated immediately. If the heart test is ok, he scheduled an outpatient "port" installation. They go in just below your collar bone and open up the size of a quarter in order to give Chemo and other meds. This also allows for blood draw at later dates... The nurses told her she would lose her hair during this treatment. I am scared for her.
I couldn't sleep any last night, after getting in late from the chorus concert and then getting the phone call an hour later....I'm taking something to help me sleep tonight and getting in bed.

Again prayers are welcomed. Thank you!

Do you see the pressure single people feel in the real dating world!

Greg is home sick today, flu like stuff. That's all I need with everything else I got going on. I just talked to him. I don't think we will see each other until the new year seriously. Maybe it's better that way~ I'm in such a FUNK with my mom...I mean I'd like the support that I think he could offer, but how do you tell someone you have just started to date that your mom was just diagnosed?

I just need a magic pill.

Why does it seem so much easier to talk to strangers via blog these days?

dating

Well, yes Barn Goddess last night was date night. Greg and I met at one of the local Mexican places for dinner. He cut his hair ok almost shaved it since we met on Monday. I was bummed.
= ( Dinner went fine...The waiter put us in a corner and all I could see was the window outside and a mexican waiter who wanted to dance quietly in the corner behind Greg. It made for an interesting evening. We were both nervous and it showed. He was fidgety and I didn't eat much...usually I tear up the cheese dip. He told me a bit more about his daughter, turn out my mom and Alyssa (his 4yr old) have the same birthday. She'll be 5 in January. He had about 25 pics on his phone of her. She's cute!!! He's a proud papa and it shows.

After dinner we went to Circuit City, he wanted to watch The DiVinci Code. So he bought it, I would have rented buy hey, it's his money. He followed me to my house and his words were " Wow this is really PHAT! I mean seriously, it's PHAT." Ok ya'll he's 4 yrs younger, but my kids use that term, I don't. Do I sound like an old lady yet? We sat on the love seat and talked for an hour or so, he put the movie in and just snuggled up with me. He is very affectionate. It took him about 30 minutes after holding my hand to kiss me. It was nice. ABout 1/2 into the movie he grabbed my hand and wanted to dance in the middle of my living room. I was a bit surprised. He's a musician remember and plays hard core stuff...Anyway, he just wanted to be playful I guess. I was caught off guard. He's a football size guy at 6'4. We danced for probably 30 minutes...

Converstion wasn't a factor. His mom is retired 25 yrs from Civil Service, Dad retired from the Army. He has a younger brother who's married and lives in Tennessee. HE is REALLY close with his family. I like that he cares about them so much. The ex wife really screwed his from what info he has shared with me. It's been 2 yrs since the divorce. He works and works, and spends as much time as possible with ALyssa. They live together. I'll see him again, althoughI'm not sure when, Alyssa has a dance recital Saturday early evening and he seems proud. He doesn't have a day off until next Sunday.

Mom goes to another Doc tomorrow afternoon, I'll have more info tomorrow night. I guess my family will know more about our Christmas plans after her news. She has about made up her ming she want to get treatment in Houston at MD Anderson. I may be there for Christmas. I didn't tell Greg any of this last night, I didn't see it as suitable 1st date material....

Please let Moday go fast and PAINFREE~

Wed already! Yippee~

OK GOOD NEWS for a change. The bone scan mom had on Monday said the cancer had not spread to her bones. The minute I heard, I stopped and Thanked God for this miracle. The First scan they did suggested it was in her rib cage under the breast. Thank you Jesus!!!!!!
Thank you ALL for your prayers. They are working.
I felt like I had been hit by a mack truck yesterday afternoon. I was at school late, then stuck in traffic for 40 minutes, went to my regular nail salon, the girl I like was booked. I left went to a different on closer to my house but not before I waited 15 minutes in line at Walgreens for prescriptions, I gave up and went home. It was 8:00 by then.

Greg called and we chatted for a bit. He's off today, but taking his mom to the doc. She's been sick for a few days and like with me she has High blood pressure, so you are so limited as to what over the counter drugs you can take decongestant wise. Well, he asked if we could reschedule dinner and a movie for Saturday. I was actually kinda bummed. I mean I like what I know so far....He's 32, he's been divorced for 2 yrs and has sole custody of his daughter. He spent almost 4 yrs in the Navy. He's taken 2-3 yrs in college including Penn state while in the Navy. He bounced around on areas of concentration...He said he's got enough credits to minor in History or English and considered teaching. Hmmm, he's definately a people person. He plays clarinet, sax, guitar and drums.... (Again I like my music men). He' s Christian. He's not much of a church go-er but he definately believes. His family is important to him it shows. Hmmm, see why I am kinda bummed about this evening??????

K, gotta make copies~ grrrrr